does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
