We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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