Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
