I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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