i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
