sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
