New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
