Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
