Where did you get a picture of my penis
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think I just shit out all my problems.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
