i just wanna soil my oats bro
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize