after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
