While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Hippo gnu deer
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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