He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
