Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just want nice things and good sex
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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