I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
