I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
