Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
