Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
