I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
