I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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