he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
