she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
There r osticjed everywhere
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
