Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
