quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
