It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
