Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just high enough for therapy.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
