What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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