Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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