dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I wear drunk well.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
