i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
