Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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