Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
