He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
