There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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