I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
