Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
