i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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