No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
