There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
