I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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