The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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