Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
