Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
