is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
