Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize