ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
