he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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