Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
