she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
As shirtless as possible
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
