I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
