I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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